Living One Day at a Time

For many 12-steppers, one day at a time is not just a motto to repeat, but a way to live life. Taking each day as it may be the last one, being grateful for a full 24 hours of sobriety. Don’t look for your five-year chip, focus on the 24 hours ahead of you. 24 hours is a lot easier to manage than five, ten, fifteen years. Looking that far ahead can become overwhelming and dwarf the success of living in those 24 hours.

This is a life lesson anyone, even those not struggling with addiction, grief, or life, can put into practice. I am your typical type A personality. Not very spontaneous, to say it nicely. My life is planned out for the next ten years, or so it was. Over the last two years, I have been trying to live my life a little slower. Some days it is easier than others, to be honest, most days I still planned for the future as if my life depended on it.

Since my father’s passing, I have been working on gratitude and the importance of living in the present. A reminder that tomorrow is not promised, but today, this minute, this second is. I refer back to 12 step programs for guidance as I face any new obstacle in my life, including to committing to living one day at a time:

1. Keep a positive attitude

This. Staying positive has been said to show strength. For me, my attitude, my perception of my life need to stay positive. I could coil into myself and sabotage everyone around me, but instead, I hold my head high and smile. For I am taking this breath and I am surrounded by love. Life is a lot harder if you decide to be a victim and look for the negative in everything.

2. Take on one problem at a time

Since being diagnosed with Breast Cancer, it seems that there are a million obstacles to tackle every minute of every day. I have had to look at obstacles and decide which one takes priority. Which one needs to be solved today, and which ones can wait. How do I manage my mental space to focus on just one issue at a time? Multitasking is said to drop your IQ by at least 17%, multitasking on problems makes you lose all productivity. On problem at a time, one minute of the 24 hours you are blessed with.

3. Expand your knowledge in some way

One of my favorite novels, 1984, stated ignorance is strength. That statement is known as doublespeak. Knowledge in fact is power, with power comes strength, ignorance leaves you in the same spot with people having power over you. To learn is the best present you can give yourself. Expanding your knowledge does not have to mean traditional educational topics, it can mean learning about your neighbor, learning about yourself, listening to those around you, engage in civil discourse. It does not mean to stay stagnant.

4. Do good towards others

It is easy to focus on your own issues and feel “woe is me” mentality. I have been there. Being in this mindset can cause you to lose sight of those around you. I remember leaving my surgeons office and her saying to me “go be mean to someone” and in the past, I would have taken that suggestion as a prescription, a need. Her suggesting that caused a pit in my stomach. I have no idea what anyone else is going through and I would rather lift someone up than tear them down. Everyone is carrying their world on their shoulders, what makes me any better? You do not know their 24 hours.

5. Love yourself

I am learning this one most of all. Be patient and kind to yourself. One of the things I had to learn the hard way is to listen to my body. When my body and brain need a break, I now take a break. I listen to my cravings and try to understand what my body actually needs, it is not always the mashed potatoes it craves, sometimes it is. Self-love is not shopping at Target (all the time), it’s meditating, connecting to mind to your body, it is working out, its stopping to breathe, its being surrounded by friends. Self-love is what you need it to be in a healthy manner. Take the time in your 24 hours and love yourself.

6. Get uncomfortable

Comfortable is the enemy of growth. To grow and be present is to get uncomfortable with how you have been living. This will require you to be extra. Not in the way the hip kids say it today, but require you to put in extra time, extra focus, and extra experiences that you may not be ready for. You will never change and grow if you stay in your comfort zone. Make mistakes, make new friends, and listen to your intuition.

24 hours at a time. One day at a time. One minute of that one day at a time, hell, one second of that one minute in those 24 hours to complete a day. Take a slow, keep your head high, and smile. Tomorrow is not promised, and you cannot control the future, but you can control how you act and react. Move in strength and grace.