“You are so brave” the opposing view

Every day I get comments on how brave I am or what an inspiration I am, and I feel like an imposter. I don’t feel brave, I don’t feel strong, and I sure as hell don’t feel inspiring. I am just trying to survive the treatment and this diagnosis.

Every day is a battle. I am fighting cancer; I am fighting for my life. This is not brave, this is basically my bodies reaction to fight or flight, my body chose fight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am choosing to stay positive and smile every day, even when it hurts. But to say I am brave because I want to live is missing a huge part of the conversation. Life.

I have grown up pro-life. I am against the death penalty, I am against abortion, and I am pro living life. Because I am so pro-life, the idea to stop fighting for my own life is not one I entertained. I remember being annoyed when one of my friends went through his cancer journey because at times it felt like he didn’t want to live any more.

I am 29 years old, 28 when diagnosed, too short a life to have actually lived. My journey is not over. I have more to give to this world and I will fight for that right. I am not brave, or strong, I just want to live.

This is not to hinder people’s beliefs, I just wanted to give some perspective on this journey. I am fighting for a chance to live this life. Life is uncertain and beautiful; I am not ready to leave this world.