A Love like no other

At our wedding, my father gave a toast equating love to a garden of roses: You get beautiful flowers if you put in the work. It was not always going to be easy, but it would be worth it. 

Sam and I didn’t realize that it would rarely be easy. Rarely. 

From the moment we met, we have had to work to be together. The first week we met, my best friend was killed by a drunk driver (more on that in a separate piece). Sam got to see me, at that time, at my worst. I couldn’t understand why God would let something so tragic happen to a family so amazing. Yet he did. I questioned my faith, my relationships, what I was doing with my career, and further, why I should be happy when Reagan was gone. 

This was the very first week we met. Most normal men would have run; hell, I would have run. That is a lot to unpack in a new friendship, let alone, a romantic relationship. Luckily for me, Sam and I weren’t even friends yet. I was just the girl who cried at work. 

The company I was with decided to band together around me and go to Cheesecake Factory for food. Across the table, I noticed Sam dipping his bread in ranch. Love at first sight — or dip in this case. Besides him being incredibly attractive, I wanted to know the guy behind the blue eyes and salt and pepper hair. Ohhh.. and his boss put him off limits to me. 

See, his boss had a crush on him and desperately wanted to be friends with me. So in order to make both happen, she told both of us we couldn’t talk to each other. Ahh, forbidden fruit, please hold as I bite. 

Over the next few weeks, we kept our friendship a secret from our place of work and social media. We strictly talked through Facebook Messenger, and in the office, pretended we hated each other. We were very sneaky … until we weren’t. 

Three weeks into our weird courting and two unofficial dates later, my best guy friend was diagnosed with Leukemia and then the very next day, my uncle slipped into a coma. 

Needless to say, I was not in the mood to be cute or fun loving. I was questioning everything about my life. Did I really enjoy politics, why was in DC away from my family, why in the world was God doing this to the people I loved? I couldn’t make heads or tails of my life, yet everything kept moving around me, including Sam. He was next to me through all of this. We had just met and this man was there to be my friend and help lift me up. He wasn’t shamelessly hitting on me, he was not trying to get me into bed; instead he was here to help find my faith again and listen to my fears. 

For the rest of April and all of May, we were inseparable. I remember talking to my friend Megan about him and gushing over how sweet and cute he was. It was gross. I became that girl with emotions, and I did not know who I was. My mother was actually happy to see this change in her daughter. I wasn’t talking about him like he was a piece of meat. Who the hell was I? 

In June, we made it official and didn’t care who knew. I was finally starting to feel like myself. Happy. I was going back to church, I was out-performing my peers at work, I was singing and dancing in the streets. 

On June 23, my uncle slipped out of his coma to be with the Lord. I was shaken again, but I knew with Sam next to me, I would be okay. I was not ready for June 26. Three days after my uncle passed, Sam’s grandfather passed away. It was the first time I would see him cry. 

We made it through the summer before our next obstacle hit. In August, Sam was fired. In September, I was sent to the west coast for 48 days straight. We had to learn how to support one another through time and distance. It was not easy, and we failed often. But we tried. We kept trying. 

In December, I was fired. Let’s recap, 3 deaths, 1 cancer diagnosis, 2 firings, and 4,000 miles between us within the first 8 months of us knowing each other.  

We had to learn quickly how to communicate effectively, love unconditionally, and be patient with one another. Sam would like to add that one of us had to learn how to share, but we won't get into that. 

The foundation we built early on has helped us get through a year of long distance, planning a wedding, raising two puppies, the death of my father and now, cancer. 

It is not easy. We work at it every day. The vows that we took are not just when it is convenient, they are all day, every day.